


Kintsugi

by FandomCaptive



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Raccoon Tommy and Technoblade :), Secret Santa pog!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:34:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28213245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FandomCaptive/pseuds/FandomCaptive
Summary: As Tommy thought of everything that had happened, everything that had gone wrong, he realized just how broken he had become.Or, Kintsugi, the art of putting broken pieces back together with gold
Relationships: They're just brothers :)
Comments: 13
Kudos: 90
Collections: the writer's block's Secret Santa





	1. So What If I'm Broken?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gremlin_rights](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gremlin_rights/gifts).



> Merry Christmas, Kichi!! I hope you enjoy the fic that I've written for you! 
> 
> (also, for those of you who thought this was the missing two days of MCYT Advent Prompts... uh.. well see... they're coming soon I swear) 
> 
> Small warning for a hint of SuicidalInnit. Everything's okay though :) 
> 
> Enjoy!!

Tommyinnit was hiding, he was hiding underneath Technoblade’s house, trying to conserve warmth as he huddled next to a couple of torches. He could hear people walking around in the house above him, and it killed him to be so close and yet so far to people who loved him.

Or at least, used to love him. Dream was the only one who had seemed to love him as of late, and Tommy had managed to upset Dream as well.

He was only 16, Tommy was only 16 years old. And he was alone. He was alone, and cold, and as much as he hated to say it, he was so scared. 

He was scared of dying, scared of living. He was scared of being caught and yet, scared of ending up alone. His thoughts and his fears were scrambled, not making any sense. Tommy was so confused, confused and tired.

He looked at the bed he had quickly thrown down in his cave. Sleeping sounded nice. He was going to just take a nap. 

So he did, shivering and shaking, he rested his weary head on his ragged pillow, feeling a few stray tears drip down his cheeks.

He closed his eyes and slept. 

He woke up eventually, slightly disappointed at the realization that he didn’t freeze to death, not that he’d tell anyone of his disappointment. He was fine. Sure, he found it painful to wake up in the morning sometimes, wishing he had died in his sleep. And sure, sometimes it was hard to walk across the bridges over top of lava. Sometimes he wished he had died right alongside Wilbur, but it didn’t matter. He was fine.

He was also a bit disorientated as he rubbed his eyes and looked around the cave, not sure what time it was, or how long he had slept because the time seemed to pass differently in the cave. 

He hated every second of it.

Tommy was terrified that he would be too loud or that he’d steal the wrong things, and Techno would find him. Tommy didn’t know if he could handle yet another person upset with him. He didn’t want anyone else to shout at him.

What he truly wanted was a hug. Just a simple embrace that would tell him everything would be okay. One that would heal him, seal up the cracks and patch up the bruises. A hug from a person that would let him no longer be as broken as he was.

Tommy didn’t like feeling broken. 

He didn’t like feeling like everything was tumbling down around him. He wanted to be sitting in his house in L’Manburg, feeling safe and secure, not curled up in a cave, wondering if Techno would climb down his ladders and slay the boy in his sleep.

Tommy wished that he could have just stopped everything. He wished that he could have stopped all the wars, all the fighting. The bloodshed and the pain that had made it so Tommy was where he was now. 

He wished he could have had more time to be a kid. After all, he had fought in multiple wars, watched his brothers destroy the home they had fought for in the first place, watched Wilbur get stabbed by their own dad. Tommy had lost friends, family, and pets. He had managed to push everyone away, managed to lose _everyone_ and _everything._

So what was the point? 

If you’re broken, and won’t ever be fixed, what’s the point?

Why save the broken pieces of a vase if there’s no way to fix it? Why not just throw away the glass that would end up hurting someone else, that would end up cutting something beautiful. Why not throw it into the garbage, never to be thought of again?

Why not throw it into lava?

A brief thought of throwing himself into the lava crossed Tommy’s mind, but he pushed it away as quickly as it came. He didn’t have the time or the energy to entertain those thoughts right now. 

He needed to figure out what to do next. He needed to know when Techno would leave, so that he could sneak up into the house. Tommy was running low on food, and would absolutely love to find something to burn in the furnace he had. Anything to provide warmth at this point would be spectacular. 

Tommy needed to know where Dream was, he needed to figure out if he had to run again. Dream would check Techno’s house eventually, right? Dream would find Tommy eventually. That’s how it worked. Tommy started to panic, feeling himself start to shake. Dream would find him. Dream was coming. Dream would find him. Dream was-

 _Is that really a bad thing?_ He thought to himself.

 _Maybe we want Dream to come! He is our friend, after all._

He toyed with that thought. He remembered the good times he had been able to have with his friend. Tommy thought about the days where he’d mine with Dream all day, or the day of the beach party where Dream was the only one to show up.

 _Dream’s the only one who cares._ He realized with a start.

The flame on a nearby lit torch popped a little, crackling as it burned through more fuel. Lucky for Tommyinnit, and his dangerous, broken thoughts, he was snapped out of his daze and was able to realize just how wrong his ideas had been.

Dream was no friend of his. 

Dream would beat him up. What kind of a friend would do that? Dream would take his things and destroy them, leaving Tommy defenseless for the night before he could forge himself another means of weaponry. What kind of a friend would do that? 

Tommy was _running_ from Dream. Dream was the reason Tommy was in this whole mess in the first place. 

No. Dream was no friend. 

Dream was the biggest enemy. 

And as much as he hated to say it, Tommy missed him.

He missed Dream’s constant company, he missed the way his “hello Tommy” always signaled the end of sitting alone for the time being. Dream’s voice meant he wasn’t alone. If there was one thing Tommy had learned while in exile, it was that he hated being alone. He hated the fact that the only people nearby had been some villagers that didn’t like newcomers, and didn’t even speak English.

But at this point, Tommy would have even taken the villagers over the cold, damp, emptiness that was the cave. 

But there were no villagers with him. In fact, there was nobody with him. Tommyinnit was alone, and it was suffocating. Both figuratively and literally. The air was stale and dry and he couldn't breathe. Every breath was just another lung full of dust and darkness. His chest ached, from the lack of clean air, or the lack of feeling loved, he didn’t know. 

He sat on the floor, at the base of the ladders for a seemingly endless amount of time before he deemed it safe to slide away the stone floor of Techno’s basement. Nobody could be heard as he crept up the ladder as silently as he could, not wanting to risk it if somebody really was at home.

Pausing briefly to pet the cow, Tommy hurried to the next ladder, heading up to the level with the boat zombies. He squinted against the light that streamed in through the windows as he rummaged through the chests, trying not to think about the growling mobs sitting behind him. 

Tommy didn’t want to take anything that Techno would notice. So the broken boy grabbed a couple of carrots, a couple of potatoes, anything else that he could make into food, and supplies to keep him warm. He considered finding something else, before getting startled by the sound of a door opening.

 _Oh no._ Was the only thing in his mind, running on repeat. He was tired and malnourished and his brain didn’t seem to be working right. He didn’t even realize that running away would be a good idea until the sound of a sword being drawn could be heard, and Techno’s boots could be seen climbing down the ladder.

Tommy dropped his bundle, letting the stuff fall to the stone floor, and he ran. 

He flung open the heavy wooden doors and scurried out into the cold snow. The weather was freezing, and he realized that he didn’t even have shoes on. It was too late to do anything about that now, however, as Tommy realized that if he ignored the spastic thumping of his heart in his ears, he could hear Techno’s calls. 

As much as Tommy wanted to stop and stumble into his brother’s arms, he knew he couldn’t. He knew that Techno would hate him. Tommy knew he had to keep running.

So he did. He ran as fast as his numb feet would allow. His legs were tense and his lungs were aching. It hurt to breathe in as the cold air burned the back of his throat. 

But he kept moving. 

_Left, right, left, right._ He chanted, urging his legs to move. Just a little further. Come on. Tommy knew that Techno couldn’t run forever. But neither could Tommy.

Tommy almost let himself believe he could make it, but then he heard the sound of a glass bottle being broken, and at that same time he felt the potion seep into his bones. He felt every muscle in his body slow down as the potion of slowness soaked his clothes. He let out a desperate scream as he fell to the ground, his head hitting a rock of ice that had been gently cradled in the snow.

He felt a few tears drip down his face as his vision blurred, and right before he closed his eyes, he saw the blurry shape of a man with pink hair.

He didn’t know how to feel as he lost consciousness.


	2. I Know You'll Fix Me With Gold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter two!
> 
> Enjoy! :)

As Tommy slowly woke, he began to register what was happening around him. He could smell something cooking, which made his stomach growl. Tommy wasn’t sure if it was growling because he was hungry, or because he would throw up the food, and he wasn’t all too eager to test his stomach to find out. 

His head pounded, and Tommy involuntarily let out a quiet whimper as he tried to open his eyes, accidentally letting in the light. He realized he was resting on a bed, his feet hanging all the way off the edge. Why were they down there? What was going on? It hurt to think as Tommy tried his best to figure out what had happened. 

As he thought, he realized the dull ache in his feet, and he felt as the ache grew stronger until it began to burn and sting. What was going on? He asked himself the question over and over, trying to put together the pieces of the puzzle. 

As the pain got stronger, he started to kick and wiggle his feet to get away from it. but stopped abruptly as a warm hand grasped his ankle.

“Tommy, stop it.” A gruff voice said, causing Tommy’s eyes to shoot open despite the spike of pain in his head. 

“Techno?” He whispered, not sure if he should be afraid of the answer.

“Yeah, it’s me, Toms. Hold still for just a minute more, okay? I know it hurts but you gotta stop moving.” Techno was sitting on the floor, his pink hair peeking up from down by Tommy’s burning feet.

Tommy fell completely still, not wanting to risk anger. Whenever he angered Dream, he would get slapped, or punched, or worse. If Techno had started to hurt him before he had even woken up all the way, then Tommy knew he was in for a world of trouble.

He didn’t mean to, really he didn’t, but Tommy felt a couple of scared tears leak from his eyes. At nearly the same time, Techno’s hand ran against Tommy’s left foot, and the foot jerked sharply. Tommy let out a hiss and promptly flinched, waiting for the hit. 

But it never came. 

Instead, Techno gently wrapped up Tommy’s wounded feet, and then stood up, moving to come sit next to Tommy.

The boy kept himself tense.

“Tommy?” Techno asked softly, shock written on his face, “What’s the matter?”

“Look, ‘m sorry, okay?” He responded, whispering. “I didn’t- I didn’t mean to move. Just get it over with.”

“Get what over with…?” Techno paused for a second before gathering Tommy’s body language and gasping, “Tommy, did you think I was going to hit you?” 

“Are- Are you not going to?”

“No! Tommy, why in the world would I ever harm you?”

Tommy was staring up at Techno with wide, red-rimmed eyes, “oh. I just thought.. Oh.” 

“Tommy. Why would I hit you? Who’s been hitting you?” Techo’s voice was filled with fury, but upon seeing the scared look on Tommy’s face, Techno dialed it back a little.

“Nobody.” Tommy answered quickly. “Nobody’s been hitting me. I’m fine.” 

Techno looked him over long and hard, before sighing and pulling the blond boy into his arms, so they were both sitting up and Techno could look Tommy in the eyes.

“Are you really, Tommyinnit? Are you actually fine?”

Those same wide, fearful eyes welled with tears and Tommy hung his head, shaking it slightly. 

“No.” Came the quiet whisper. “No, I’m not. I’m sorry.”

Tommy started to shake, his hands reaching down to shove themselves in his pockets. To both their surprise, Tommy gave a small gasp and pulled his right hand back, revealing that he had pricked his finger on something sharp.

Techno sighed a little, holding out his hand for whatever weapon had been tucked away. He didn’t want to risk Tommy managing to hurt himself anymore. 

“Alright, Tommy. Hand it over.”

At those words, Tommy seemed to realize something. He scrambled to push himself away from Techno. Panic filled his eyes as he tried to stand to his feet, crying out in pain as he did so.

“Whoa! Tommy stop that! You went for a run out in the snow barefoot and now I’m trying my best to heal your feet so you don’t freaking lose them! You can’t just get up and about!”

“Sorry, I’m sorry. Technoblade I’m sorry. The stuff is downstairs, you can have it. I’m so, so sorry. I forgot to give it to you and I know I should have and I'm sorry- I just- I'm sorry.” Tommy curled into himself, gasping and shaking. Techno had no idea what was going on.

“It- It’s okay, Toms. How about we just calm down a bit? I forgive you for whatever you think you did wrong.” 

Techno tried his best to calm the sobbing boy. But it still took nearly half an hour before Tommy could actually speak again. Techno was baffled at the reaction. Clearly he had said something wrong, but what could he have said to have triggered something like that?

“What just happened, Tommy?” He whispered softly, running his fingers through Tommy’s knotted hair and the boy curled into Techno’s chest.

Tommy didn’t respond for a long time. But when he did, Techno could hardly believe his ears. Techno couldn’t believe Dream had done so many awful things to the child. Tommy was so young, and yet he seemed so.. So broken. So lost. Techno couldn’t believe that he hadn’t done anything to help.

“Tommy. Tommy I’m so sorry I didn’t help you. I’m sorry I didn’t show up to your party. I’m sorry I didn’t realize you were hurting. I’m sorry.” Techno sighed, feeling unfamiliar tears prick at his eyes. 

“I’m sorry. But listen to me, Tommy. You’re safe. I’m here now, and you’re safe.”

Tommy sighed, “Tech, I feel so broken. I know that there’s no use in trying to help me, or keep me safe. I’ll never be fixable. I’ll never be okay.”

And gosh dang it, those words fueled Technoblade with a passion he hadn’t ever felt before. This one wasn’t a passion for blood, or for pain. This passion was simply one triggered by the voices wanting to help Tommy. The passion was one in which Techno knew he needed to heal the broken boy. 

As Techno listened to Tommy’s words, he knew for a fact that he would prove Tommy wrong. Because who better to heal a broken child, than a broken child himself? 

“Let me tell you something, Tommy.”

Tommy rolled his head to look at the older man, his eye drooping slightly as the emotional exhaustion and pain caught up with him.

Techno chuckled quietly and helped the boy lay down on the bed they were both sitting on. 

Tommy, however, wasn’t ready for Techno to leave, so in the end, Techno laid on the bed with the younger boy resting in a ball next to him. 

Techno absently rubbed his hand on Tommy’s back as he spoke.

“Tommy, There’s an ancient Japanese art called Kintsugi. Do you know what it is?”

Tommy shook his head ‘no’

“It’s the act of putting back together a broken thing with gold.”

“Oh.”

“And, Toms, I know you feel broken, but I’m here. And I promise to fix you with as much gold as it takes.”

There was a slight pause before Tommy looked Technoblade in the eyes, a soft smile on his face.

“Technoblade, I’ll be worth millions.”

There was a depth to the statement. Techno recognized the way Tommy had referenced the amount of cracks that would need to be filled. But for now, Techno decided to just hold the boy close, snuggling into each other as the cold wind blew outside. _Gosh_ , Technoblade thought. _I love this child._

He smiled a little as Tommy’s breathing began to even out, as he started to fall asleep.

“Yeah kid, you are. Worth millions indeed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! That's the end! Hopefully you guys liked it! I'd love to read your comments if you wanna leave them :)
> 
> To be honest, at this point I've spent so much time stressing over the fic that I literally can't stand it for the time being. Give me a couple days and I'll come back through to re-edit if it needs some fixing 
> 
> Merry Christmas!
> 
> See you guys soon with the MCYT Prompts that I've been slacking on :) 
> 
> ~Me

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you loved it, Kichi! This was fun to write knowing that I was writing it for you.
> 
> Love,  
> Me  
> :)


End file.
